Dr. Alfred Kinsey was a noted researcher in sexual behaviour and had several books published including two books “Sexual Behaviour in the Human Male” and “Sexual Behaviour in the Human Female”.

In his studies Kinsey found that more men than women reported fantasizing about sex, though women were as afar from being asexual in mind as in deed. Kinsey was especially interested in fantasy during masturbation. He found that 89% of men who masturbated fantasized but only 64% of women did, and men did so much more regularly.

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I believe the figure would be much higher for women today just from my own experiences and through conversations with readers of my website. The figure will also be higher now because sexual fantasizing is considered normal and appropriate for both sexes. Plus anyone who knows me will attest that I truly believe that fantasizing is key to a healthily lifestyle and maximising the pleasure anyone can get from their own body.

To get further in to the fantasy topic it is interesting to note that although men still fantasize more during masturbation than women; there is evidence that women fantasize as much or even more than men during intercourse (I know I have had too when some uninspired man thinks he is making “sweet love” to me). I think the reason women probably fantasize more is because for most women the physical stimulation of intercourse isn’t enough t bring her to orgasm.

In today’s more sexual enlightened world writers, books and the media now even encourage women to use fantasy to enhance their sexual experiences. Many people (including some psychotherapists) presumed that women who fantasized during sex were neurotic, bored, unhappy or frustrated. The fact is E. Barbara Hariton during her studies in 1973 found no instance of emotional instability in these women. Instead they tended to be creative, nonconformist, sexually active and satisfied.

In their fantasies people of both sexes tend to imagine forbidden activities or partners but certain themes are more characteristic of one sex than of the other. Men are some what likelier than women to think about group sex, sex with a stranger, forcing women to have sex or overcoming a woman’s initial resistance. Women are somewhat likelier than men to think about romantic situations or being overpowered. Fantasies involving force by the way usually don’t include physical violence or psychological degradation and therefore should not be considered rape fantasies.

For both men and women fantasies are a way of mentally role-playing certain cultural erotic roles or of experiencing a side of oneself that they cannot or would not want to be expressed in real life. Undeniably most fantasies have little to do with reality. For example Hariton found that those women who fantasised about being dominated sexually are most often in their real lives professionally successful people.

In conclusion sexual fantasies are normal among the majority of both men and women in self pleasure and intercourse situations. It is fun and can en-heighten any sexual situation. I even sometimes find it fun and great foreplay to get a partner to talk to me about their sexual fantasises and who knows that discussion could lead to some exciting new sexual experiences that you never ever dreamed of.

As far as I am concerned I conclude –

“Just let you mind wander and then your hands”

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I got a email from a nice young lady this week who wrote "I am 18 and still a virgin, what kind of things would you say are the best ways to masturbate when you are a virgin?". I thought alot about this and came and tried to come up with a ideal answer. I thought that there must be many other young ladies who are asking the same question so decided to put my answer here for other youing ladies to read.

Jessica,

Thank you so much for your email. I have spent a lot of time mulling over your problem trying to come up with an ideal answer. I take all emails seriously.

Jessica you are at the start of your sexual journey that will hopefully be a wonderful and fulfilling experience that will bring you happiness and joy. All I can say that there isn’t any hard or fast rules of how to approach masturbation and your sexual being.

You are in a great position as you are seriously considering how best to masturbate although you are inexperienced. Well I would say that anything goes. Masturbation is all about enjoyment but also experimentation.

I would suggest that you use your alone time to really explore your body and all your erogenous zones from your nipples to the little known zone that is the AFE zones. Listen to what your body tells you and if you find something you really like then explore it further. I myself often find my clitoris quite sensitive and don’t like direct touch on my clit at first. I will play around the sides of my clit to start with and then when I am excited it can sometimes be OK to then directly stimulate my clitoris.

The only thing I would say is as a virgin if you were considering a dildo or vibrator use a smaller sex toy to start with. The best way to find the ideal size toy would be to get a candle and put a condom on it and then use it in your vagina to find the length that best suits you. A jelly dildo is ideal for a beginner and plus they are generally inexpensive.

Jessica don’t be afraid to really explore your body. The way to approach self pleasure is to do so when you are comfortable. That means when you are alone and there is no chance of being disturbed so when the house if empty. Then get as comfortable as possible using your favourite pillows and cushions. Maybe have a sheet on the floor and lay back with legs drawn up and knees allowed to flop apart. Rest the palm of your hand on your pubic mound and fingers resting on your open vulva. Move your hand to stimulate clitoris by side-to-side, up and down, circular or gentle pinching movements and then just start exploring from there.

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Jessica it takes time and just let things happen naturally and soon you will gain more confidence and know what your body likes and what makes your climax with the most pleasure.

I have been masturbating for over 16 years and still I am sometimes amazed at what I can achieve with a little exploration and a good toy (I am not saying that you have to get a toy but as an experienced women I like to have different toys for when I get some alone time).

I have written several articles on my site that I would recommend reading and will list then below:-

Self Pleasure Situations

The Clitoris

The G-Spot

Nipple Play

The Orgasm

Jessica I hope you find this email useful and please, please feel free to contact me (contact form below this post)  anytime with any questions or just to talk about anything in general. I will try and help and get back to you as promptly as I can.

Thanks

Holly

The orgasm is the crowning of a successful and highly pleasurable session of sex. It puts a grin on the face of satisfied women and makes men walk with a swagger. The big “O” is the one of the most important little things in the universe and the fundamental end product of a wonderful sexual experience. If it wasn’t for the orgasm life would be a very dull existence.

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But orgasm isn't limited in scope to making one (or two) folks feel good for 5 or 10 minutes before falling asleep. Science has demonstrated that frequent sex and orgasms are vital to the general contentment and health of each person.

The more frequent the orgasm, the better off that person is going to be on both the physical and psychological planes. Everyday life results in

Every girl should orgasm more!

tension for most of us. The troubles of responsibilities and relationships take their toll on the psychological balance of a person. Sex and orgasms are an opportunity for these tensions to be released as stress and anxiety are flushed from the system when you reach orgasm.

Therefore; the mind uses the orgasm to discharge the tensions out of the system and replace them with a relaxed body state and on a plus side incorporates pleasure. The most common thing to do after extricating yourself from the tender embrace is, naturally, to slip into sleep. The mixed effort of sex and relaxation brought by orgasm is the ideal replacement for any sleeping tablet.

Rather than reaching out for the bottle of tablets, you would be better off reaching out for the person lying in bed next to you or for a much-loved sex toy. It is a completely natural solution that should be heartily endorsed. What men also need understand is that a headache is a lady's way of saying "You have to try harder".

The pleasure brought by orgasm is the result of a discharge of endorphins into the brain. No headache can survive the attack of pleasure flooding the brain and the relaxing effect it has.

Naturally, sex isn't intended to replace dieting, but it appears to go some way toward helping you rein in those food longings and it does burn some calories. In truth, sex burns more calories per minute than tennis. The number of systematic studies shows that frequent orgasms are good for one's health. The Orgasm plays a critical role to obtain a successful sex life and also for the physical and psychological health of all men and women.

Apart from the undeniable fact that increased heart rate and heavy breathing keep the circulatory system in shape and make oxygen circulate through the body, sex has other benefits. A study made public in Psychosomatic Medication in 1976 showed clearly that failure to reach orgasm has a negative result on the heart health of ladies.

Healthy levels of oestrogen help keep the heart system in shape, fight cholesterol and keep the skin pliant. To conclude regular orgasmic experiences can truly lead to better health and well being be it from self pleasure or through love-making. What other excuse to you need?

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Tags: benefits sex, oestrogen, self pleasure, love making, female orgasm, orgasm

Some girls feel that one is sufficient and others find that their clitoris is too sensitive after their first orgasm and their just not interested in having any more. Girls unlike men on do not have a refractory period, after their first orgasm they are in the plateau stage and stay aroused for longer and if stimulation is continued more orgasms are likely. These appear as a sequence of climaxes that come close along without an interruption in arousal. For some women they may need some seconds to relax before stimulation can continue when having multiple orgasms but then an another orgasm usually occurs inside minutes.

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A likely situation for this to occur is if the clitoris is stimulated manually or orally till climax is reached, followed by another climax during intercourse.

Some girls might find that their clitoris is extraordinarily sensitive after their first orgasm.

If direct stimulation is too intense, try indirect stimulation on another part of the genitals. It would help to take deep breaths, rocking your pelvis in time with your breathing, while the energy builds up again in your genitals. Within a few minutes you could find that over stimulation will give way to pleasure. There are two types of multiple orgasms.

Sequential Multiples

These are a series of climaxes that come close together with an interruption in arousal. The woman might need a few seconds to relax and then stimulation can continue, with another orgasm occurring within minutes. A likely situation for this to happen is if the clitoris is stimulated manually or orally until climax is reached, followed by another climax during intercourse.

Some women might find that their clitoris is very sensitive after their first orgasm. If direct stimulation is too intense, try indirect stimulation on another part of the genitals. It might help to take deep breaths, rocking your pelvis in time with your breathing, while the energy builds up again in your genitals. Within a few minutes you could find that over stimulation will give way to pleasure.

Serial Multiples

These are orgasms that come one after the other without interruption in arousal. These are only seconds apart and may feel like on continuous orgasm with multiple peak points. This is likely to be achieved if the clitoris and G-Spot are being stimulated simultaneously.

Some women find that their second or third orgasms are more powerful than the first, and some find that their orgasms become progressively less intense.

In conclusion

Achieving multiple orgasms can be refreshing, exciting and even lead to an overall sense if well being for a long while after the event. A great way to get multiple orgasm is of course through self pleasure.

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Tags: female orgasm, orgasm, female masturbation, masturbation, clitoris, self pleasure

Well ladies the financial crisis has been far reaching and has really started to hit a majority of my friends. Well a little tongue in cheek but at selfplasureforwomen.com we have few ideas on how we girls can help ourselves and make the current predicament a little easier to bear.

Everyone has a little less money in their pocket as prices keep rising as the oil prices fluctuate. Us girls cannot afford to go out as much as we used to which means we are at home a lot more. The problem is how can we fill some of the time we now have on our hands either if we live by ourselves or with a partner.

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Ladies the solution is at hand literality the clue is in our website name. Yes girls it is time to get more enjoyment from ourselves. Hell getting an orgasm is about the most fun we lasses can get and it is free. This can be achieved by ourselves or with a partner.

I believe this is a great time to explore your body and learn how to get the most pleasure possible from it. An ideal way to really get the most satisfaction is with the help of a good toy.

Ladies getting yourself a good vibrator can be a real investment at this time. Imagine the scenario you have a bit of time on your hands and there isn’t anything on TV and you are wondering what to do. Well it is the perfect time to bring out a toy and have some fun for yourself. A good toy could provide hours of entertainment over several years at for as little as $20.

Girls I have several different toys from nipple claps and several dildo/vibrators which I will be assure you I will be using over the coming months now I will be spending more time at home.

Here ladies are some related articles that that I think might aid you in a decision on whether a toy is the right choice for you. Girls let get going! Oh if you would like some more information or need some advice then please  contact me and I will help in anyway I can. Thanks Holly.

Why We Should All Self Pleasure – A great article that is a good guide to start with when thinking about self pleasure.

Which and How Many Women Self Pleasure – This article lets you know how many women masturbate.

How to Choose the Right Dildo – An easy to use guide to help you choose the perfect dildo for you.

How to Use A Dildo – An easy guide to start you getting off.

World’d Top Three Most Powerful Vibrators – A lot of ladies asked for this info so I went and go it for you.

Jenna’s Ultimate Rotating G-Spot Vibrator – This is my favourite toy at the moment.

Nipple and Breast Play – Learn to love other parts of your body.

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The three main aspects of buying a dildo are shape, material and colour. A woman wants something that looks and feels good. Most dildos are made of rubber. Even with rubber there are different types with jelly rubber being quite popular and coming in interesting colours.

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Hard plastic dildos are inflexible and many women just don’t like the feel of them. If women use these then it is often only for short periods of time. I would suggest that hard plastic is really only for more experienced dildo users.

When buying a dildo really think about what you want from them and it is better to start a little smaller rather that go for one too big. Dildos aren’t cheap and they are certainly not returnable.

If you are new to sex toys then buying an inexpensive jelly rubber dildo maybe he ideal starting point; this way you can find out what shape and size suits you for a small outlay. Then when you know what makes you happy then treat yourself to a silicone dildo or something more expensive but more life like.

Silicone dildos are at the expensive end of the market but are of the highest quality available and I would highly recommend them if you budget can stretch that far. The reasons that silicone is so highly thought of is due to:

• Silicone in non-porous and can be boiled in water (great for hygiene purposes)

• Silicone transmits vibrations well and holds temperature (is feels great when you are in the flow of things)

• Silicone is available in a wide range of colours, shapes and sizes (Girls the dildo has to look and feel good)

• Silicone is strong, durable and clean

Silicone is the ideal choice if you are concerned about allergies or reacting to toys in a different way. Technology has moved on now and you can also get dildos that feel very realistic (like cyberskin dildos but cleaner and safer).

Silicone dildos usually start at around $20 (£10) to about $100 (£50), although they can be a lot more expensive. This is expensive for a dildo but you are paying for a superior product.

Here is a list of the different dildos on the market as I write this post:-

• Glass, Metal, Plastic/Acrylic Dildo
• Jelly Rubber Dildo
• Cyberskin Dildo
• Harness dildo

There are more types to follow! Remember the Silicone Dildo too!

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Welcome to self pleasure for women I am pleased to welcome a new writer to our site Dharani. Dharani contacted me wanting to write for self pleasure for women and she has written some fanatsic material. The first article is an excellent piece of advice that I know a lot of our readers will love as it is a novel way of using easy to get product to achieve a fanatastic orgasm.

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If you would like to read more of Dharani's articles then please click  on Dharani’s Articles.

Thank you Dharani

Slip ‘n Slide

This works especially well if you have a shaved vagina.

1. Take a long continuous sheet of plastic food wrap (about 3 feet) and lay it out on the kitchen table.
2. Lube the middle of the sheet with Crisco or other soft solid shortening.
3. Wrap one end of the plastic wrap around each hand and hold firm.
4. Standing up put one hand in front at tummy level and one behind at the small of the back. The sling of greased plastic wrap should be at knee level to your side.
5. Step over the greased middle section of the plastic wrap. The plastic wrap should now be between your legs, greased side up.   
6. Stand with legs spread or kneeling on a cushion.
7. Lift your hands up, bringing the greased plastic wrap in contact with your pussy.
8. Slide the sheet of plastic wrap back and forth against your pussy and bum hole.

You can adjust the pressure against your skin by wrapping the ends of the plastic wrap around your fists – this shortens the plastic wrap.

Pulling up increases the pressure and increasing speed also adds to the thrill. Pulling up on the plastic wrap gives your mons Venus a good workout, with the outer lips of your labia either overlapping the plastic or covered by it and your bum hole getting a good tickle as well.   

I think we can all agree this is a fabulous way to self pleasure and very easy to do. So ladies enjoy.

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The Last Two Hotspots

Ladies we have covered the clitoris and the G-Spot. There are two more “erotic zones” that have been recorded. They aren’t that widely known about but knowledge of them can add even more variety to our self-pleasure time.

Make the most of your Erotic Zones and….

The first of these “erotic zones” is a small area of highly sensitive erectile tissue located just above and both sides of the urethral sponge. It is given the name the U-Spot.

The U-Spot

The U-spot has only been recently discovered but has been found by researchers to give an unexpected and highly erotic response when stimulated correctly. It can be for self-pleasure purposes stimulated by a lubricated finger and within love making with a tongue or penis. Please note the U-spot is not the urethral opening, but just above and either side of it.

Your fingers play a crucial role in stimulating every part of your body. When using fingers to stimulate the U-spot, simply slip the fingers in gently above the clitoris, at the opening of the vagina. Do not apply too much pressure because every part of the vagina is sensitive and should be handled with care.

The U-spot with a little experimentation can become a treasured part of the women sexual being as the pleasure from caressing it can be euphoric.

The AFE Zone

The last erotic zone we will talk about is the AFE Zone. Researchers investigating vaginal dryness with Magnetic Resonance Imaging found that when the penis head stimulated certain areas of the vagina Subjects experienced wave after wave of intense pleasure resulting in orgasm climaxes. The results were similar to but more intense than G-Spot stimulation. Sliding the fingers up the front vagina wall you find a rough oval area of ridges. This is the G-Spot.

Sliding the fingers halfway up the posterior vaginal wall you will find a larger area which is slightly rougher than the normal vaginal wall. This is the AFE Zone. This roughness creates the friction and increases the pleasure sensations in both vagina and penis nerves.

The AFE zone is a vortex of the nerves that carry information from your whole genital to the spinal cord and brain. These nerves when stimulated send arousal signals to the part of your nervous system which enhances engorgement of appropriate areas and is responsible for sexual arousal.

This is also true for women that are not normally sexually responsive. Obviously the easiest way to locate the AFE zone is to slide the fingers halfway up the posterior vaginal wall you will find a larger area than the G-Spot, which is slightly rougher than the normal vaginal wall.

Conclusion

These two zones the U-spot and AFE zone are areas of the female genitalia that are still new to researchers and the sex toy market has yet to really make toys to cater to these pleasure areas. However, with lubricated finger(s) and a little experimentation a girl could really have some fun.

Make the most of your Self Pleasure Time and….

Tags: female orgasm, clitoris, self pleasure, afe zone, u spot, female masturbation, masturbation, g spot, orgasm

The G-Spot

There is still an argument over whether the g-spot really exists. A gynaecologist Dr. Jones Stewart on concluding his study wrote in an article for Times Magazine in 1983 that women that had the area supposedly contained the g-spot, surgically removed reported no loss of sensation.

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The belief of the general public though is that the g-spot is a reality with one study concluding that 84% of women believing that there is a “highly sensitive area” in the vagina. Modern day publishing discuss the g-spot as if it a medical truth.

The g-spot or Grafenberg Spot (named after its discoverer, a German gynaecologist called Ernst Grafenberg) is a small highly sensitive area located 5-8cm (2-5 inches) inside the vagina on the front upper wall. The g-spot is said to be the female equivalent of the male prostate gland. Women have even found they ejaculate a fluid if they have an orgasm by stimulation of the g-spot, researchers in North America claim the fluids composition is similar to the secretion of the prostate gland.

The g-spot is located beneath the urethral sponge. This explains why many women feel they have to pee when their g-spot is stimulated with every woman having a urethral sponge then every woman must have a g-spot.

The mystery around the g-spot can be partly explained by the common misconception surrounding it. It modern parlance many women believe the g-spot to be a “sex button” that can be pressed like a starter button, at anytime to cause an erotic explosion. Then as a result during love-making when this is the case and an erotic explosion does not appear leads many women to believe that the g-spot doesn’t exist. The g-spot mystery continues I believe because of a lack of understanding of the g-spot. The g-spot should be considered more as an “erotic zone” as Grafenberg himself described it.

I think many women who claim not to enjoy or notice g-spot stimulation are more then likely not using the correct technique or using sufficiently firm pressure on it so that the g-spot is being stimulated. First though us girls have to locate the g-spot and don’t worry many women find it difficult to locate the g-spot.

Locating the G-Spot

The g-spot is a bean shaped group of nerves tissues located halfway between the back of the pubic bone and the top of the cervix. The size and position of the g-spot differs from women to women, but it is usually about the size of a quarter, and lies 2-3 inches inside the vagina directly behind the pubic bone. Women sometimes cannot find their own g-spot. Here are some tips to help all women.

Technique for Finding the G-Spot

Right ladies make sure you are relaxed and comfortable and plenty of time set aside to give your time to explore and experiment.

• Girls lay down, knees bent and feet flat on the bed with a small pillow under your buttocks.

• Then insert your lubricated fingers into your vagina towards your navel about 2 inches inside your vagina.

• Press with either one or two fingers against the front wall of your vagina applying a little more pressure than usual, as the g-spot is surrounded with tissue and is deep in the vaginal wall.

• Move your fingers from side to side until you start to feel when that you are hitting the right spot. It should feel ridged unlike the rest of the vagina that is smooth. It will then as a result through stimulation swell and firm like the erectile tissue in a penis.

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How to Self-Pleasure Yourself to a G-Spot Orgasm

First of all please empty your bladder before self-love as women do get a feeling to urinate when the g-spot is first stimulated as we recorded earlier.

Girls to directly stimulate the g-spot lay on your back with your feet flat on the floor with your legs apart. Using the thumb of one hand start stimulating the clitoris, then girls slowly insert two finger as far as possible into the vagina and rub against the bottom of the vaginal opening until, pressuring upward with the tips of your fingers from side to side exerting pressure upwards. If the fingers are more sharply upwards your can rock forwards and back in a circular motion with consistent, firm pressure along the entire length of the vagina walls.

To increase the pleasure thrust your hand in and out simulating penis intercourse then exert pressure upwards when withdrawing so that the g-spot is involved. If you want to really get yourself all hot a bothered remember to stimulate the clitoris as well or use the other hand to touch other erotic zones such as the nipples.

What to Remember When Stimulating the G-Spot

• Women need firm pressure to the front of the vagina, quick rhythm and friction to have g-spot orgasms.

• Women may ejaculate a small amount of a white clear fluid when she has a g-spot orgasm.

• Please be careful girls and short nail are recommended.

• It may help to use a water based lubricant and wash you hands thoroughly with hot soapy water afterwards.

G-Spot Tips

Variety is the spice of life so experiment with using smooth, round beads placed in the fingertips of some latex gloves (use a water based lubricant because oil based lubes break down latex gloves) to provide more intense sensations when the hand is inserted into the vagina.

Another extra tip that isn’t do to with self-pleasure but I though I would like to add is to say rear-entry/doggy position is the best during intercourse to stimulate the g-spot as the penis presses against the front wall of the vagina, particularly with the man on the top and a pillow beneath the hips.

The G-Spot Conclusion

The g-spot really does exist and with only a little patience and experimentation any girl can soon understand the power and excitement that g-spot stimulation can accomplish. There are techniques that involve using a dildo to simulate the penis in vaginal intercourse that really can be fun when self-pleasuring concentrating on the g-spot. Using the dildo instead of your fingers as in the methods explained above.

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Tags: g spot, orgasm, clitoris, female orgasm, female masturbation, self pleasure, masturbation

The Guide – How To Get My First Orgasm

Hi there I got an email from a 30 year old women who had never had an orgasm and so I wrote back to her how I would apporach the situation myself.  In our email exchange she also said that she had several friends that she thought might benefit from the reply I gave her. It led me to think that there might be many other women in the same situation so decided to post the reply here.

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I hope this reply is useful and rememeber that if you have any other questions then please feel free contact me anytime.

Dear Reader,