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The Women's Orgasm – Real Orgasm Secrets

Holly Franklin — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 01:05:35 +0000

The Truth Behind The Women's Orgasm

Well how could I at self pleasure for women have been so stupid? Here I am talking about self pleasure and the female body and related self pleasure subjects and I have failed to write about the orgasm. I am not sure how I managed to miss it. This websites dedicated to self pleasure for women and well why do we all self love? Ultimately it is to reach orgasm.

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Yes, I have written here about the overall benefits of self pleasure and the exploration of your own body. Now I need to add the final part of the whole endeavour and that is to explain the whole concept of the orgasm. It is a large subject to cover so I am going to write about the subject of he orgasm in a series of post over the coming weeks. This will hopefully stop me overloading you all with too much information and make the orgasm easier to understand. Let start at the beginning shall we.

What is an Orgasm?

An orgasm (sexual climax) is the conclusion of the plateau phase in the bodies’ response to sexual stimulus and maybe experienced by both males and females. An orgasm is characterised by intense physical pleasure controlled by the involuntary or automatic nervous system. The orgasm often leads to involuntary actions such as muscular spasms in other parts of the body, a general euphoric sensation, and as all girls know may need lead to the need to shout out.

Definitions of orgasm

Three is heated debate as to what types of sexual sensation can accurately be termed as “orgasm”, including for example of the orgasm caused by G-spot stimulation alone and the manifestation of extended or continuous orgasms lasting several minutes or even more than an hour. The debate central point is the clinical definition of the orgasm.

The way it is usually described in the clinical context is by the muscular contractions involved.

This is open to speculation as within people their perceptions of achieving orgasm are different and do not necessarily involve the involuntary contractions characteristics of orgasm. In would be fair to say though that in both sexes the feeling of climaxing is enormously enjoyable and often felt throughout the whole body, causing a mental state that many describe as transcendental (moving, awe-inspiring).

Evolutionary functions of orgasms

This too is open to speculation but I would like to believe the writings of Desmond Morris who in 1967 in his book The Naked Ape an admired science book put forward the theory that the female orgasm developed to encourage physical intimacy with a male partner and help reinforce the pair bond.. Morris goes much further and suggests that the difficulty a woman has achieving an orgasm has Darwinian undertones as it leads to females selecting males who bear the qualities such as patience, care, imagination, intelligence rather than negative traits such as aggression, which are present in other primates.

The difference between the two sexes was accentuated over time because if a male had to work hard to achieve an orgasm like a female then self-interest in achieving an orgasm for himself would be enough for him to work hard in sexual situations rather than show other positive traits.

There are other theories that the orgasm developed in the female to help increase fertility as it has been shown that the vagina reduces in size by 30% during orgasm so therefore clenching the penis more thus causing more sensation in the male and could lead to a faster and more volumous ejaculation.

In 1997 Learning Channel documentary on sex placed fibre optic cables inside the vagina of a woman and showed during an orgasm that a woman pelvic muscle contracts and that her cervix dipped into a pool of semen in the vagina making conception more likely.

It can be argued that the fact that a woman can achieve an orgasm more easily during ovulation that the orgasm is tied to fertility.

The other theory suggested by biologists is that the orgasm simply developed to motivate humans to have sex which results in the increased chance of reproduction as males typically reach orgasm faster than females, it potentially encourages a females desire to engage in intercourse more frequently there again increasing the likelihood.

Click the link for women’s orgasm secrets continued.

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Tags: female orgasm, real orgasm, clitoris, vagina, women's orgasm

Self-Pleasure Guilt

Holly Franklin — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 15:17:26 +0000

Why Do We Feel Guilty When We Self-Pleasure

Many women have written to me and writing of their "guilt" when they decide to self-pleasure. I found this a difficult subject to approach as each individual case was different. Here I list some of the common reasons that most ladies came up with when feeling masturbation shame:

1. They felt they were stealing something from their partner. There was a sense of guilt that the enjoyment should not be felt alone but should be with one's sexual partner.
2. That it was an outright sin or that it was just plain wrong to self-pleasure (the issue of religion in both Muslim and Christian women).
3. Worried about the health issues raised with masturbation can it effect the libido or could it affect subsequent sexual intercourse?

4. Women with kids and young families felt they didn't have the time to themselves to engage in self-pleasure and felt bad when they did masturbate.

There were others examples that were associated with guilt and self-love. It is hard to generalise the subject here as it is easier to

Don't feel guilty about self pleasure

deal with each subject individually. I am just an ordinary girl and haven't any physiology degrees. I feel a little uncomfortable about trying to give such advice.

As a result I decided to come up with a generic answer to the question in the form of firstly why women may feel guilty and then trying to explain why I feel that these beliefs maybe not be correct. I don't want to get into a religious debate or even bully women with my views. It is a case of reading my argument and making your own mind up.

Why Women May Feel Guilty

1. The present day translation maintains the disapproving image alive: to masturbate comes from the association of two Latin words, manus (hand) and stuprare (soil, make dirty)

2. During childhood, the repressive attitude of certain parents can engender later a sense of guilt.

3. For women, the fantasies connected to masturbation (old fantasies, going back up to early childhood) are much stronger. They thus feel guiltier in adulthood if they continue to masturbate while they have a well fulfilled sexual life.

Why Women Shouldn’t Feel Guilty With Self-Pleasure

Masturbation has been condemned for a long time. Religion cast it as a sin and although we have moved on as people to become more self aware the stigma attached to masturbation has stuck with some people still unable to truly feel comfortable about gaining pleasure from their own body.

That common perception negates the fact that self-pleasure can be fun and can really add to your sex life. Many women masturbate. Dr. Alfred Kinsey in his 15 year study of sexual research back in the 1940’s and 1950’s recorded that 60% of women masturbated which other modern day surveys including one of my own on this site confirms.

Women may not want to broadcast this fact to friends, family and the bigger world (which I think is a shame as the more open we girls are the sooner we are liberated and really can enjoy self-love for all its positives).

Women can feel guilty about resorting to masturbation, as if they stole something from their significant other: if to be fulfilled by masturbation leads you to decline sex with your partner, obviously there is a predicament. But, in a couple, it is not necessary that we do everything together; must all pleasure be strictly shared? Sports, music and shopping do you have to do them all together? When masturbation isn’t an escape, but a search for a balance, then you both will be at ease, and can experience a healthy sex life without tension. Where as frustration due to an insufficient sexuality might cause you to resent your partner, and even wish to turn away from sex with him or her.

The use of self-pleasure open up doors to other possibilities it can reduce the over use of vaginal penetration and bring in a new area of enjoyment and variety into the bedroom. It offers many different ways for women to reach orgasm and other types of pleasure. In women it can bring a force of excitement that is no allowed by either the softness of a vagina nor the obligation to hold on for a certain time.

In conclusion there are a many ways women can live out their sexuality. Masturbation is one: by yourself or in the presence of a partner, frequent or occasional, solitary or mutually shared, it colours the life of one person, is absent in the life of another one, is accessible with out ever being imposed, something that people can take or leave according to their impulse.

I hope this has opened up the debate. I know it is not a real answer to the question of guilt and an in depth answer would probably be enough to fill a 500 page thesis. I just wanted to say that self-pleasure is a natural act that I believe should be embraced and enjoyed and can really bring added value to a women and her well being.

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Tags: clitoris, guilty self pleasure, female masturbation, g-spotself pleasure guilt, self pleasure for women, self pleasure, orgasm, masturbation, female self pleasure, self love