Dr. Alfred Kinsey was a noted researcher in sexual behaviour and had several books published including two books “Sexual Behaviour in the Human Male” and “Sexual Behaviour in the Human Female”.

In his studies Kinsey found that more men than women reported fantasizing about sex, though women were as afar from being asexual in mind as in deed. Kinsey was especially interested in fantasy during masturbation. He found that 89% of men who masturbated fantasized but only 64% of women did, and men did so much more regularly.

Hey a great fantasy deserves a fab toy to complement it find the perfect toy just……..

I believe the figure would be much higher for women today just from my own experiences and through conversations with readers of my website. The figure will also be higher now because sexual fantasizing is considered normal and appropriate for both sexes. Plus anyone who knows me will attest that I truly believe that fantasizing is key to a healthily lifestyle and maximising the pleasure anyone can get from their own body.

To get further in to the fantasy topic it is interesting to note that although men still fantasize more during masturbation than women; there is evidence that women fantasize as much or even more than men during intercourse (I know I have had too when some uninspired man thinks he is making “sweet love” to me). I think the reason women probably fantasize more is because for most women the physical stimulation of intercourse isn’t enough t bring her to orgasm.

In today’s more sexual enlightened world writers, books and the media now even encourage women to use fantasy to enhance their sexual experiences. Many people (including some psychotherapists) presumed that women who fantasized during sex were neurotic, bored, unhappy or frustrated. The fact is E. Barbara Hariton during her studies in 1973 found no instance of emotional instability in these women. Instead they tended to be creative, nonconformist, sexually active and satisfied.

In their fantasies people of both sexes tend to imagine forbidden activities or partners but certain themes are more characteristic of one sex than of the other. Men are some what likelier than women to think about group sex, sex with a stranger, forcing women to have sex or overcoming a woman’s initial resistance. Women are somewhat likelier than men to think about romantic situations or being overpowered. Fantasies involving force by the way usually don’t include physical violence or psychological degradation and therefore should not be considered rape fantasies.

For both men and women fantasies are a way of mentally role-playing certain cultural erotic roles or of experiencing a side of oneself that they cannot or would not want to be expressed in real life. Undeniably most fantasies have little to do with reality. For example Hariton found that those women who fantasised about being dominated sexually are most often in their real lives professionally successful people.

In conclusion sexual fantasies are normal among the majority of both men and women in self pleasure and intercourse situations. It is fun and can en-heighten any sexual situation. I even sometimes find it fun and great foreplay to get a partner to talk to me about their sexual fantasises and who knows that discussion could lead to some exciting new sexual experiences that you never ever dreamed of.

As far as I am concerned I conclude –

“Just let you mind wander and then your hands”

Hey a great fantasy deserves a fab toy to complement it find the perfect toy just……..

This is very important but please remember that pleasuring yourself is not about how many times you come to an orgasm or even if you orgasm at all. It is about pleasing yourself, making you feel like no one else can.

Many women love to have a toy to self-pleasure go on treat yourself

Self pleasure and Guilt 

“I feel guilty masturbating”, that is a recurring theme in the emails I get from my readers. The guilt of self pleasure differs within each case. I cannot begin to cover all the eventualities here but this section is an open discussion that I hope will allow women to see that self pleasure far from being something to feel guilty about should be something that is embraced and enjoyed.

Self pleasure has been condemned for a long time. Religion cast it as a sin and although we have moved on as people to become more self aware the stigma attached to self pleasure has stuck with some people still unable to truly feel comfortable about gaining pleasure from their own body.

In fact the sense of guilt is very important to in woman; they refrain from self pleasure more than men and admit to it less easily. This can be a result of repressive mind-sets of certain parents can prompt a later sense of guiltiness. The guilt from self-love can also be credited to fantasies that can go back to childhood that are connected to self pleasure. Which then makes a women feel guilty to revive them when they have a well rewarding sexual life.

Self pleasure isn’t dirty, dishonourable, or hazardous for the health. Unbelievably though self-pleasure has been considered for a long time to be a bad habit which is due to centuries of mis-education and prejudice that have turned something that should be enjoyable into something guilty. The present day translation maintains the disapproving image alive: to masturbate comes from the association of two Latin words, manus (hand) and stuprare (soil, make dirty). Self pleasure doesn’t make you wrong, mad or even give you acne. It can be a sign of emotional problems if it becomes compulsive but it really is something to embrace.

Join the millions of women with their own personnel toy there is one just for simply…

Women can feel guilty about resorting to self pleasure, as if they stole something from their significant other: if to be fulfilled by self pleasure leads you to decline sex with your partner, obviously there is a predicament. But, in a couple, it is not necessary that we do everything together; must all pleasure be strictly shared? Sports, music and shopping do you have to do them all together? When self pleasure isn’t an escape, but a search for a balance, then you both will be at ease, and can experience a healthy sex life without tension. Where as frustration due to an insufficient sexuality might cause you to resent your partner, and even wish to turn away from sex with him or her.

In fact self pleasure can be practiced in front of a partner. In a lot of couples it proves to be very exciting. It can be the best means to learn how a lover prefers to be stimulated. Each can guide the hand of the partner to show him/her which pressure and which rhythm the woman prefers. Mutual self pleasure can really spice up a sex life and open the door to experimentation. One’s desire can be increased by seeing the pleasure of the other. One can also self-love before or during sexual intercourse: it serves then as a prelude, increases the excitement, or allows the couple to perfect sexual intercourse.

The use of self-pleasure open up doors to other possibilities it can reduce the over use of vaginal penetration and bring in a new area of enjoyment and variety into the bedroom. It offers many different ways for women to reach orgasm and other types of pleasure. In women it can bring a force of excitement that is not allowed by either the softness of a vagina nor the obligation to hold on for a certain time.

In conclusion there are a many ways women can live out their sexuality. Self pleasure is one: by yourself or in the presence of a partner, frequent or occasional, solitary or mutually shared, it colours the life of one person, is absent in the life of another one, is accessible with out ever being imposed, something that people can take or leave according to their impulse.

I hope that this article has opened up the prospect that self pleasure is really something that can have so many positive benefits for women and can really be a gateway to a more rewarding sex life for your partner and yourself. It is practised by many women and for most it has been something that has only helped them in life. This section only gives a general introduction to self pleasure and guilt and many women may still have questions or still feel unsure. Please read this article again and see that self pleasure can really be such a positive influence.

Now why not read my guide to self-pleasure techniques to gain a few tips about how to approach self pleasure just click here

Want a real orgasm? Then the perfect toy will help simply……

This is the second and final installment from self pleasure for women covering all aspects of the female orgasm.

Why not treat yourself to a little fun? Find the perfect toy simply….

The Physical Response in Woman on Achieving Orgasm

The female orgasm normally last much longer than that of a man. It is preceded by the erection of the clitoris and the moistening of the vagina. In is not uncommon for the woman to experience a sexual flush which is a reddening of the skin over much of the body and can be explained due to the increase of blood flow in the body.

When a woman nears orgasm the clitoral galns moves inwards under the clitoral hood and the inner lips become darker. Closer to the orgasm a woman will experience a tightening and narrowing of the vagina with the overall vagina lengthening and dilating becoming congested with engorged soft tissue. The uterus then experiences muscular contractions. In woman the feeling a total orgasm happens when her uterus, vagina, anus and pelvic muscles undergo a series of rhythmic contractions. In most women the whole overall experience is extremely pleasurable. Once the orgasm has finished the clitoris re-emerges from under the hood and returns to normal size usually within ten minutes.

Orgasm and Health

Although I couldn’t find any health studies concerning woman and orgasm research on men and the orgasm and sex as a whole showed that the physical activity requires major exertion of many bodily functions. In 1997 a study by The British Medical Journal in 918 men between the ages of 45-59 then followed up 10 years later showed that men who had fewer orgasms were twice as likely to die of any causes that those having at least two orgasms a week. In 2001 a follow up that was specifically focused on cardiovascular health found that having sex three times or more a week led to a 50% reduction in the chances of heart attack or stoke.

Achieving Orgasm

One of the main ways to achieve orgasm is by direct or indirect stimulation of the clitoris. This can be achieved a number of ways such as through sexual intercourse, manual masturbation, oral sex, non penetrative sex, a sensual vibrator or an erotic electro-stimulation. An orgasm can also be achieved by stimulation of the nipples or other erogenous zones. In the absence of physical stimulation orgasm can be accomplished from physiological arousal alone.

The G-Spot is important for woman to realize an orgasm this is an internal gland called the Skene’s gland in woman.

Vaginal Orgasm

The female body can attain orgasm from stimulation of the clitoris and also from stimulation of the G-Spot. Its full name is the Grafenberg spot and is a small area behind the female pubic bone surrounding the urethra and accessible through the anterior wall of the vagina. There are certain scientists that believe only certain woman actually have a G-spot. The G-spot orgasm is sometimes referred to as “vaginal” because it results from stimulation inside the vagina, including during sexual intercourse. However please note only stimulation of the G-Spot and other inner vaginal stimulation results in a “vaginal orgasm”.

There is great debate as two whether there is a two orgasm theory that there is a vaginl orgasm and a clitoral orgasm. Many believe that the two orgasm theory is a perception put forward by men and is heavily criticised by feminist such as Ellen Ross.

Freud was the first person to put forward the concept of a purely vaginal orgasm he argued without any evidence that a clitoral orgasm was an adolescent phenomnan and upon reaching puberty the proper response of a mature woman changes to a vaginal orgasm. This theory held parlance for a long time because many women felt inadequate when they could not achieve orgasm via vaginal intercourse that involved little or no clitoral stimulation.

The belief that most people now deem right now we have a greater understanding of the female genitalia and sexual organs is that the clitoris is much larger than we ever understood before is the clitoris actually extends inside and around the body of the vagina and complicates if not invalidates the vaginal vs. clitoral orgasm. Recent anatomical research shows that there are nerves connecting intravaginal tissues and the clitoris. This link between the clitoris and the vagina is evidence that the clitoris is the “seat” of the female orgasm and is far more widespread that the visible part most people associate with the clit. It may explain why some women can realize orgasm by sexual intercourse alone as the may have more extensive clitoral tissue and nerves than other women making an orgasm from penetrative sex possible.

Anal Stimulation

The anal orgasm is often talked about but often misunderstood it can be brought on by anal stimulation such as from anal sex, an inserted finger or sex toy. Anecdotal evidence suggests that some women experience anal orgasm as qualitatively different from clitoral or “vaginal” orgasm, though for many the distinction is less clear.

In both sexes pleasure can be gained from the nerve endings around the anus and the anus itself. It is known that anal-oral contact can still be pleasurable without stimulation of the clit.

Breast and Nipple Stimulation

It is pretty self explanatory a breast orgasm describes a female orgasm that is triggered by stimulation of the breast. It is not achievable by all women when their breast are stimulated but anecdotal evidence suggest that stimulation of the breast area during sexual intercourse and foreplay, or just simply having their breast fondled creates a more intense orgasm. One study claimed that 29% of woman had at one point or other had experienced a breast orgasm. The way it is explained is that stimulation of the nipples produces the hormone oxytocin which is produced in the body during sexual excitement in all other sexual circumstances.

Multiple Orgasms

Women sometimes don’t have or have a very small period of time between when they first experience an orgasm and then the next one. These subsequent orgasms may actually be more powerful or pleasurable than the first. In some women their clitoris and nipples are very sensitive after climax thus making additional stimulation very painful. There are reports of woman having too many orgasms including a story of one woman in the UK who had them throughout the day at the merest hints of a vibration. Other techniques are analogous to reports by multi-orgasmic women indicating that they must relax and "let go" to experience multiple orgasms.

In Conclusion

The female orgasm can be achieved in several different ways depending on which of the different erogenous zones is stimulated. In many instances it may take time and patience but they can be rewarded with multiple and extremely pleasurable orgasms.

There perfect toy is waiting  for you find it by simply ….

Tags: vagina, real orgasm, women's orgasm, orgasm, womens issues